[James]

My best friend died of COVID—whatever year that was. It still blows me away. He’d been through a lot. He was tough. He was strong. It took a bug to kill him.

When he passed away, he wasn’t looking for other friends. He wasn’t trying to replace anybody. It’s hard for me to find a friend like that.

What I expect from a friend is someone who can be the kind of friend I am to them. And I’m a good friend—I know that. But there aren’t many people out there who can return that the way I give it.

More than proud, I’m humbled by all of this. I’m humbled to be selected for this program here at the 415. I’m proud of that.

This is my second time here. The first time, I left on good terms, but I left for reasons of my own. Now, I’m proud of what’s going to happen next.

I’m going to be put in a position to go back out there, and I intend to. I’m proud of the position I’ll be in when all of this is said and done—when I get my own place and my new job—because I’m going to be back out there doing the same thing I’ve always done, just without the drugs: trying to help people get out of that life too.

I’m proud of what’s coming next.

People out here who are struggling and need a hand—I stand up for them because they don’t always know how to stand up for themselves. I want to support that. I guess I stand against the people who keep them stuck there.

But there are people who truly need help.

There’s a woman who works where I’m staying, and I love her to death. I was able to trust her, and that helped me.

I had gotten in trouble and ended up going through community court for illegal camping. I didn’t even know I was on a list, but after I finished everything up, she asked me to come talk with her.

I showed up where I’m staying now just to have a conversation, and she told me, “I have a place for you immediately.”

And I just said, “I’ll take it.”

At that point, I’d been doing a lot out here—trying to help other people too—and it was exhausting. I had reached a place where I couldn’t help anyone else anymore because I had to finally take care of myself.

It was the right person, in the right place, at the right time. I was able to do a trust fall onto somebody—and she caught me.

That was a blessing. That was a turning point for me. She really helped me, but it was also because I was finally ready.

Homelessness—don’t do it. But if you’re there, be good to each other. You have to be good to each other.

There’s help out there, but we’re also living side by side. You’ve got to be better to your neighbors than we’ve been. You’ve got to love and embrace one another.

And you’re not going to get anywhere if you’re not sober. You need a clear mind to figure a way out. I know that now. I fought that truth for a long time.

But even then, we’re all better than we’re told we are. We’re all better than people think we are. People look down on us because they don’t understand.

A lot of people out there could never handle what we’ve gone through in a single year. They couldn’t survive it.

So be proud of yourself that you can—that you did survive it.