Extended Interview:

I'm originally from Hawaii, raised on the island of Kaua'i. I've been away from there for practically my whole life growing up. Then I moved out here to Clark County for the Air Academy.

I had a little bit of interest in wanting to know about the lifestyle and everything. I just ended up loving Clark County and the whole city life because it's so much different from the island of Kauai. It's very laid back out there compared to over here — over here is a lot faster.

The movement is faster. The growth is a lot faster too, but a lot has changed over there as well. In the past, I enjoyed doing a lot of outdoor activities. Zumba was my favorite workout, and I loved working.

But as time went by, a lot has changed. I'm taking baby steps, working my way back to where I used to be. I have a little bit of a disability that I'm getting help with through Northwest Columbia River.

They've been helping me a lot with what I'm going through. Patient.

Patient and aware. Those are my strengths right now.

I was a working mother, a single mom taking care of my kids. I paid rent like any average, normal individual. I exercised — just a normal mother doing the usual things. You have your bad habits and you know who's around you, but everyone goes through that.

What happened with me becoming homeless is that I was evicted from my apartment. I was outside for quite some time and went through the struggles that a lot of homeless people go through — people surrounding you when you're trying to sleep.

I also had someone try to force me to leave Clark County. The police got involved because of how aggressive he was being, and he wouldn't give me back my belongings. I had other interactions with individuals who felt they were entitled to be a part of my life.

Someone else had the same issue and got the police involved too. I noticed that when you're outside and homeless, the system isn't as firm as you would think — there's a lot of leniency behind it.

And I think it makes it hard for people who are the actual victims going through that type of behavior. That's what I understood while being outside. I tried to stay in certain areas that felt safer, even though it was an on-and-off situation. It was difficult at times.

I got maced for no reason. I got blamed for being with someone else's friend, which wasn't accurate at all. They took all of my belongings — everything from my driver's license to my birth certificate. I had to go to the Hilton to ask for help.

Emergency services came and helped me, but they couldn't really do anything. I think people need to be more educated about what happens when someone gets maced, because all they tell you to do is put a wet cloth on your face. It's an inflammatory substance and it needs proper treatment.

Depending on the type they're using, it can be very serious. The mace sitting in my skin irritated it and created acid burns. I had to go to the emergency room.

City Hall's HEART team helped take me to the emergency room. I went through a lot while being out there. I did dabble with a little bit of drugs, but it wasn't my cup of tea — it just felt overrated.

Being outside is a lot different — you don't have the same comfort zone you have when you're inside. It just wasn't my zone anymore.

I still smoke cigarettes. There's a lot of tension with being outside on the streets, having to constantly look over your shoulder. I barely slept.

Losing my birth certificate and all my paperwork was one of the biggest hurdles, and it's still something I'm dealing with right now. I have to prove who I am, prove that I am that individual.

My case manager from Columbia River has been helping me with that process. It's been very difficult — we've had to start all over. I just don't understand why, because when I was on the island of Kaua'i, all I had to do was make a phone call.

I made a payment and that was the end of it back there. I explained to them how difficult it was here, and she explained that whoever was in Clark County didn't process the paperwork properly. I have my Social Security card, but they don't have my information in their system at all.

It's like I'm zeroed out. It's weird because I do have a driver's license and my information is in that system. It's just been a very long back-and-forth process. Like I said — patience and awareness are my strengths.

What I meant about the leniency is that people were told not to be in certain areas, but who's going to actually enforce that? It goes both ways — if you're asking a police officer for help and they're telling someone they're not allowed on the property but not actually removing them, they're sending mixed signals. That was the off-and-on balance of trying to stay in certain areas.

How do I keep myself safe? I really don't know — mostly by staying awake. But there were times I was really tired and couldn't sleep, and now I have a hard time sleeping as a result.

It's just the agitation of trying to come back to who I am, working my way back to those normal steps of where I used to be. Coming out of homelessness was like a bureaucratic nightmare more than anything else.

I did get judged a lot while I was on the streets. The judging was mostly because of the association with drugs and alcohol — you see other homeless people around you who are part of that lifestyle, and I felt like an oddball. Random people in downtown Vancouver would snicker, laugh, and talk. I thought it was ridiculous. You don't even know who I am.

But that's human nature — people gossip. They threw shade and acted like they had everything figured out.

That's what it felt like. But you can't blame other people's behavior — you have to take responsibility for your own. That was something I was always aware of. Day to day life being homeless, you really didn't have a schedule.

If you were lucky, you could take cans over the bridge. I had back issues and foot problems, so sometimes I could walk over the bridge, but it would take a long time. I'd get stuck at the park and just hang out until I was able to walk back.

My back was the main issue. It felt like electricity was constantly going through my spine and I couldn't move. I just had to take care of myself because it was so hard to live without any support.

I just decided to pick myself up and make it happen.

The moment of hope was when the City Hall HEART team came out and said, "I got your place." I was like, what? That was the moment. I almost thought they were going to leave me outside — leave me behind like I was just some piece of trash.

After the HEART team got me here, the staff members at 15 West helped me out. They understood what I was going through. They understood my doubts and my fears, and they let me know it was just going to take time. That's why I say my strengths are patience and awareness.

I actually enjoyed being part of this community. I had to adjust to where I moved, and it's taken me some time, but I'm getting used to the environment and the area. Baby steps — starting all over again.

It took a lot of patience. I was a little concerned about taking an open door when there are others with more severe difficulties. I didn't push myself to demand that spot — I waited for when it was my time, and I finally made it.

I'm happy. I have my own apartment now. The major differences? I don't have to walk outside to use the bathroom. I have my own refrigerator and I don't have to worry about anyone taking my food. Just having my own privacy, my own key to my door — that means a lot.

Being here was like a transition — it pampers you, helps you grow. But out there, you don't have structure. It's more flexible, and for some people that might be difficult. But if you know who you are, you should be able to make those choices firmly.

Looking back, what I'm most proud of is my accomplishments — being an ambassador, graduating out of here, getting an apartment. Now the next step is all those other steps we've written down with case managers, just taking those baby steps.

My hope is to keep pushing forward and keep up with the goals I've been writing down with my case managers. I want to feel settled out there.

What I want others to know about homelessness is that there are actual people out there who are trying and who are stuck outside. They do become victims — they're targeted. People see them as fresh meat. It doesn't matter if you had a home before; if you haven't been part of the outside life, you're considered a freshman.

People who've been living outside for 15 or 20 years — they didn't care about being outside. I was done with the whole camping scene. But I realized I was still going through a learning process, and it drove me a little crazy not understanding why it was taking so long. Patience and awareness — those are my strengths.

As for being a mother while homeless — my kids were grown, so they weren't around me. I just have one daughter; she was a senior and was staying with friends. My oldest son from Kaua'i came down and wanted me to go back to Hawaii, but I didn't want to leave because of his baby sister. I saw my daughter once while I was outside, but I wasn't with them because I didn't feel it was appropriate. Some of their family probably judged me, but most of what they said wasn't accurate. I know who I am.

My advice for someone coming into homelessness: just be careful. Be aware of your surroundings. Even if you think someone is your friend, always have your guard up no matter what. And always stay hydrated — that is the number one thing. Always stay hydrated.